Happy Birthday, you're not getting older you're just a little closer to death.
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To the nation's best kept secret; Your true age.
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Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!
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Money's tight
Times are hard
Here's you friggin birthday card
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
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Better to be over the hill than burried under it.
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You are only as old as you act.
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So many candles... so little cake.
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Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you smell like a monkey, and you look like one too.
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
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Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don't die before you eat your cake.